The speech that never was

*Struts onto the stage*

Now, everybody that helped out with my campaign, despite not being remotely local to Oldham, can now define themselves as 'true nationalists' forever more*.

I believe that I should be given due respect for my performance. After all, how many activists have shielded Mr Chairman's rear-end with their own? Yes, I might've taken an electoral caning in Oldham, but better me than our leader.

It goes without saying, of course, that our campaign in Oldham was severely hindered by the 'sheeple'. You see, it's not our fault that the sheeple won't vote for good, honest bar-stewards like my good self. It's their fault! If I had my way, the sheeple would be paraded before a nationalist firing sq......but that's another matter, I'll save that for my General Election address.

Now, those malcontents on this forum, you know the sort - Squashclanger windows XP, Brit-Nit, Polar bear - well, they're not true nationalists and therefore every observation they've ever made is therefore null and void. I may lack a basic education, but my logic is peerless in nationalist circles.

I was quite frankly disgusted with one of those malcontents listed above, when following my debasement at the count, I received a text message:

"You should've gone down with your pub, like any good landlord."

The BNP is growing; more members, more voters and more cash. We will not tolerate contradiction of these self-evident facts.

Good Night.


* In the event of criticism levelled against Mr Chairman, formerly 'true nationalists' and 'super-activists' will be rebranded as reds and malcontents.

By Brit-Nat